Kassandra's Notes

I recently asked myself what makes a person attractive. What defines attractiveness for me? Most of the time I just defined it as ‘not my type’, but what is my type? I wasn’t really sure what the answer was, but then I watched this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

My type is defined by confidence. I know, what a surprise! A person who exudes confidence is never going to attract anyone. That has definitely never happened. Ever.

Did you notice the sarcasm?

I just wanted to check.

But I’m not talking about the confidence of a successful person in an Armani suit. Nor am I talking about the confidence of a ‘gym bro’ who can bench press x hundred kilos. I’m talking about the confidence of a fool. The ability to do something incredibly foolish yet still be confident in yourself.

This year’s Eurovision Song Contest featured the incredible performances of Baby Lasagna and Käärijä, who each came second in the last two contests. The performance began with the words, ‘The winner of our hearts’. This was a reference to the fact that they received the most public votes. If you have no idea how the ESC works, just Google it. At first I thought I would describe it to you, but I don’t want to.

I was glued to my TV for the ESC in 2023, and I was also really disappointed with Loreen’s win (yes, I’m still not over it). Käärijä gave an amazing performance, even if it was a bit weird. I didn’t hope he would win, but it was still an amazing performance. Käärijä dominated the public vote, but the jury vote only secured him second place. Unfortunately, I missed the whole of the 2024 final because I overslept. This meant that I completely missed Baby Lasagne’s performance.

But now, let’s get back to this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. If I had to describe this performance in one word, it would be: ADHD. It was a mix of gaming, sleeping bags made into outfits, a rap battle and the revival of the dab. If you don’t believe me, watch it for yourself!

Now that you’ve seen it, who am I attracted to? Do you want to take a guess? Or I could just tell you. I’ve got a crush on Baby Lasagna. Even writing this feels very wrong, probably because of the name’s stupidity. But even without the name, it’s a bit strange. Not because he’s not an attractive guy, but because I’m attracted to him in this particular setting. It’s his confidence mixed with this fever dream of a performance that has led me to this observation.

I thought to myself, ‘Is that my type?’ Confident fools — yes, they’re exactly my type! One of my first real person crushes has been mentioned by me before: NF. He was a fool with a lot of confidence, but he was also an egoist. Once, after I’d told him about something that interests me for about five minutes, he said, ‘He’s so happy we aren’t together, so he doesn’t have to pretend to listen to me.’ After that, he talked my ear off for about an hour about DnD. So that’s definitely a bullet I dodged. But you know, someone can be your type and still be an a**.

For a long time, I thought I would end up with a bad boy or a bad girl. Most of the time, I’m a ray of sunshine, and dating someone who is my opposite sounds really appealing. But I’d kill myself if I dated someone who was always serious. I like people who can take a joke and don’t take themselves too seriously. So why not someone who could match my energy?

But let’s get back to the topic at hand: attractive people. In series and movies, you often hear things like, ‘Blondes aren’t my type’, ‘Damn blue eyes’, or ‘Big boobs, right?’ But, to tell you the truth, it doesn’t f***ing matter. Of course I like people who are fit, healthy and clean — this is only natural. But everything else doesn’t matter. It’s a person’s personality that makes them attractive. For me, the most attractive thing is doing something completely foolish but still being confident. Then a person will always look amazing to me.

P.S. If you’re wondering why the picture is of a kitten wearing a hat: They’re the cutest little things in the world, yet they still believe they could slay a dragon. Therefore, a kitten is the most confident being in the world. Fight me on it!